I stay up every night hoping that maybe one day, you’ll come to your senses. And every morning when I check my phone, my heart gets a little more broken.I know we said let go but I kept on hanging on. Inside I know it's over, you're really gone. It's killing me 'cause there ain't nothing that I can do. Dearest, I stay in love with you.
On MC today.
Down with Flu, sore throat, Fever & Breakdowns.
wanted to go school today, but i don't think i can
hold the pain till 6.30pm today.
was suppose to have Blood Bank & Parade Procedure.
SO IMPORTANT, but i can't go ):
hopefully everything is going fine in school.
i feel so troubled for not going to school today.
cause i have physic lesson and maths today, and chemistry to go through.
siian, fall sick at the wrong timing, or should i say this as i can no longer stand the pain?
i dont know lah.
Life as been speechless.
everyone wants the cheerful merissa back.
and i have been having super weird nightmares, damn scary i swear!
hopefully everything will pass soon.
and the scene of yesterday keep repeating in my mind.
how is wish i had high fever till i can't remember anything.
Lets just see how things go from now.
Merissa has turn quiet after lots of stuff happen.
seems like its not a good month,
i injured my ankle, breakdowns, fall sick.
sian max.
Thanks to dearest ika, Pehhor maomao Jamie, Ezra juice
for always being there for meeee.
love you guys (:
imy ):
Give me a sign from wrong and right. Give me a sign how you're feeling tonight. Give me a sign that you love me too. Give me a sign that I'm crazy about you.
1:52 PM
Her voice is super awesome.
Talented kid!
7:56 AM
Sunday, March 27, 2011
You thought by leaving me will bring me happiness. But never will you know that my happiness actually comes from you.
You're here with me, at last. No matter how hard I try, i remember our past . Memories flowing through my veins , when will I have control, control of these pains. My heart is all too sore from before, when I look at you I see something spontaneous and beautiful, I don't have control over the way I feel for you. I hope that finally we can start new. When will this not hurt? When will this not bother my heart, will we restart, retry, Make another go? Will we take this slow, will our love grow, or fade? Things use to be perfectly made.
i feel bad for making people worried about me.
thanks to carabelle and dearest ika for always being there when i need you.
thanks guys, and sorry for making you guys so worried.
ika, sorry for making you see the weak side of me again.
but i just can't cheer up.
im in a lost, and i don't know what to do.
everywhere or anything i go or do, reminds me of you.
your schedule is n my head. the timing to wake you up to do your work,
chasing you to do your work and stuff.
dearest love, you bought my hopes high, but why did you just let me fall
when you met something that was going on your way.
but no matter what, im still believing you and trust that things
would change for the better.
im just trying to think positive.
cause im afraid of the conclusion.
dearest, where are you when i need you most?
can we go through this together?
how are you? don't miss out any meals. sleep early cause if not you gonna be tired the next day.
don't spend much time on other things, and must study.
don't care of the friends that you don't like, stay strong.
never land on your right foot when you play basketball, cause you will injured yourself.
if you do, i may not be there you bandage it for you.
stop showing the brave front if you are tired of it.
Cause i there's lots of question in my mind without an answer to it.
i believe that everything happens for a reason.
im still waiting for your return and hoping what you said was all true.
dearest love, imy & ily!
Shall continue to have a fake brave front and fake smile (:
Sometimes I feel there is an expiration date for people who fall in love with me. I just can’t seem to make them stay.
It first started like this image,
then it got nicer.
But when it's getting dark, you cant see anything.
im in a state of confusion now.
hoping that it would be better after tomorrow.
will my wish come true?
or will it just fall apart?
i didn't know that one could just change so fast.
i hope it's just a false alarm.
but it just hurting me.
d don't know,
can you just explain to me what exactly happen?
i dont wanna just leave it alone without it's conclusion.
i can't breakdown now,
cause i promise to only breakdown during evening tomorrow.
ily & imy )':
I know we said let go but I kept on hanging on. Inside I know it's over, you're really gone. It's killing me 'cause there ain't nothing that I can do. Baby, I stay in love with you.
Maybe you're the one
Maybe, perhaps
Perhaps, you
I'm waiting.. it would be half
Maybe it is true
Always, very
Closed each other, So I didn't know
Baby I'm in love with you
I gave you my all. All my heart, my happiness. The day you left, you took those with you. I don’t think I have loved anything more than I loved you, you taught me how to love. I spend a lot of my time thinking, what if? There isn’t one day that has gone by that I haven’t thought, dreamt, or talked about you. You are always in my heart. I remember the bad but I will never forget the good.
11:30 AM
realize that this week im always out.
Monday: went to meet ika, watch Big Mommas with her.
accompany her buy her 5 months present.
Tuesday: went out with dearest love, watched im number four.
met ika and hayat at tiong. had lunch.
Wednesday: went back to school. burned my finger with the hot glue gun.
had dinner. anddd went homeeee.
Thursday: raffles for lunch, somerset bought gorgor phone.
tuition at night.
Friday: met with dearest and ika. went to study.
study, study, study.
Saturday: out with ika, hayat.
accompany ika shop for clothes, but nothing caught her eyes.
but 2 things that caught my eyes. shall save up and buy (:
dinner with them and dearest joined us.
bus ride home with them.
told to do proposal for this week training, this week gonna be busy with proposal
again.
JIAYOU ALPHA!
Sunday: gonna go granny house, cause got prayer there.
piggy is busy with church stuff.
there goes my 1 week holiday.
and i just missed 11:11 by 1 minute.
shittt!
hopefully things will go the way we want it to with a happy conclusion.
we'll work things out bahh.
im waiting~
I built walls around my heart because of my past. And then you came along and tore them down. Now you’ve walked out of my life, just like the others, leaving me alone to slowly pick up the pieces.
Hopefully nothing will change after camp.
& hope that we don't die there.
LTC'0711,
jiayou okayy guys!
dont breakdown like i did!
hahah!
lets see the serious peeps for 3 days.
on way only merissa, its red cross!
hahah!
I hate it when each time I go to bed, all I ever think about is you. And I cry myself to sleep thinking about what could have happened. But you don’t know that, you don’t know anything.
dearest miss you lots!
10:29 PM
Sunday, March 6, 2011
It’s like all day you’re okay until all of a sudden everything comes back to you. And you just drop. You feel as if your entire body has been drained and all you fell is a pain in the middle of your chest. A strong pain that can never be fixed. It’s hard to deal with it especially when you expected the opposite. And what if you really just don’t know how to deal with it.... You put on that smile on your face so everyone thinks you’re happy but you really aren’t.
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I’ll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you’ll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
What are words
If you really don’t mean them
When you say them
What are words If they’re only for good times
Then they don’t
When it’s love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we’re gone
And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I’m meant to be where I am
And I’m gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I’m gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most
What are words
If you really don’t mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they’re only for good times
Then they don’t
When it’s love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we’re gone
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I’ll be there
And I’m gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
